It's not exactly earth-shattering to say that relationships are complicated. Heck, even just finding someone to have a relationship with is a minefield and a half. You need the help of a good support network just to have a chance at love.
For one family, however, a completely unpredictable complication sprung up, and they turned to the internet for help.
Here's hoping it's not a problem that comes up too often — but it's the situation one Reddit user finds herself in.
Posting to Reddit's r/relationshipadvice community, the woman is clearly in need of some guidance.
OP, who says she's 23, wrote that her 40-year-old mother has been single most of her life, prioritizing the family over dating.
"My mom deserves love just like any other person," she wrote, "she's put us first for so long that it was time to put herself first for once."
But when her mom introduced the guy, things immediately went sideways.
"I instantly recognised the guy because we slept together a few times last year," she wrote. "I kept my cool in front of everyone but internally I was freaking the [expletive] out."
The guy recognized her as well, she wrote.
"I know he knows as well since he came up to me when we had a second alone and asked me not to tell my mom."
"I want to tell her but I don't want to hurt my mom," she wrote. "I really don't want her and him getting super serious or worse him becoming future step dad or something.
"How do I tell her without breaking her heart or her hating me?" she concluded.
And it was pretty clear that, yes, she needs to tell her mom.
"Better to tell her now rather than the day before their wedding," one person wrote.
"She needs to know to decide to stay or leave. It's not right for anyone to keep this from her especially not her daughter," another agreed.
"Him not wanting to tell her is also a huge red flag....starting a relationship on a lie is not a recipe for a healthy lasting relationship," one person wrote.
"I can't believe he is willing to go through with the lie. He is definitely scum," another commented.
"There's no nice way to say it. But it's important she knows, and her boyfriend wanting to hide it says a lot about him," one person wrote. "I'd do it soon though, she'll be more upset if she thinks you were talking about her behind her back."
"It’s going to be a very uncomfortable conversation but it needs to happen as soon as possible so your mum can make an informed decision about the future of the relationship," another wrote.
But rather than having a sit-down, heart-to-heart, she was writing a letter.
"I think that's a good solution. That way I can say what I want to say without stumbling or saying the wrong thing in the moment," she explained.
What do you think? Let us know in the comments!
